your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
