Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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