dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize