My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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