Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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