i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
