Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
