She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
