you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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