do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize