If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
