He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
