OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
jump out the window naked night went bad
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
