Can i not drive my cunt home
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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