dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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