I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
