Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
