Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize