The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
