im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I need to align my fucking chakras
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
