Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize