so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Vodka?
Forever.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
