Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
