i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
