the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
