You smell like stripper and shame
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
