dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
false alarm, still single
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