yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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