I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
