im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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