White coat. Heels.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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