im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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