I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
