she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
