this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize