The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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