dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just gift wrapped bread.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
