i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
