and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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