He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
