and you said cock pushups were impossible
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
