It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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