hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
