IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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