You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
