Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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