the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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