Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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