They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
