am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
