Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize