I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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