I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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