so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
