We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
