What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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