u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
