I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
