she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
