Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
