PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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