Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
