So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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